Oh, yes, he actually said that

Twitter whispers:

“Coach asked me today what kind of plug adapter he’ll need for Canada.”

Really?

Now that’s better…

“In general, we just need to be a kinder society….”

Kudos to David Arquette, who showed poise and class this week at the “Pee Wee Herman Show” when addressing recent NYT fashion blogger’s ridiculous (and inappropriate) comments that wife Courteney had “put on a few pounds.”

Do People Really Say This Stuff?

What is it about Youtube commenters? Does posting a video on the internet instantly attract people who can’t spell, are ridiculous, and/or don’t make sense? Every time I watch a video on Youtube and read the comments, I am at least slightly appalled at the quality of the responses. I realize this sounds like a pretty unremarkable statement (“Hey, guess what! People on the internet can be weird!”), and it’s not that internet commenters are expected to be intellectuals, but still… why are responses like this more common on Youtube than on other websites?

The quality of responses obviously depends on the type of video — a Britney Spears music video will generally attract more ridiculousness than a local jazz trio. I hope. So I decided to begin a little video project, if only for my own interest and amusement (and hopefully yours!) — I will find a random search term from mystery google and watch a Youtube video that results from the search, and post a few comments from the video I find “entertaining.” The search is random so there is no bias at all in what the video subject will be.

So without further adieu, here is the first video (which is apparently old, but I had never seen it before and think it’s pretty cool) and comments:

marty566: “look at marty likes turtles“
(You are apparently marty, but I’m a bit confused about what I’m supposed to do here… Should I look at you liking turtles? Look at you like a turtle? I don’t see you, and I’m not sure how to do either of those things.)

hendern4: “I dont give 2 shitz if you spammers created a ringtone!”
(You tell ‘em, and keep yr 2 shitz.)

Deltiola: “Watch what happens when a boy grows up fascinated with turtles, look what the government will do……….type TURTLE THEFT in search.”
(I kind of like this one. Stay away from my turtles!)

dirtypants428: Check out this joke I heard- “How many mexicans does it take?”
(Um… I don’t think I want to say anything about this. But… what?)

xlr8atioin1: “turtle rapeist OMG!”
(Again… what?! OMG.)

That’s all for now, folks. Ain’t it fun to be snarky?
More videos and comments to come!

Oh, yes, she actually said that… Heidi has shallow surgeries to promote inner beauty

Image from jezebel.com

Clearly Heidi’s surgeries didn’t make her any smarter…

In her first TV interview since becoming a droid, “Herpes 2″ says of the rumors of her apparent (er, clear) obsession with plastic surgery: ”If I were addicted, I would have had 10 plastic surgeries… I mean 10 times.”

Oh, right. 10 procedures in one day is totally different. And in case you missed it, her “main message is that beauty is really within.”  Sharp as a tack, that one.  Or a surgeon’s scalpel…

Did That Really Happen? RWDCer fakes cancer…

photo by mediabistro.com

The Real World DC’s “rocker chic” Erika Lauren Wasilewski faked cancer for attention. Oh, and she allegedly tattled on her college roommates for smoking pot and eating her food (gawker.com).

Let’s get this straight – she’s fine with desecrating cancer – but eat her food and you’re a criminal. Seems like her moral compass is clearly in check.

Oh, yes, he actually said that… John Mayer on being a wanker

John Mayer in his interview with Rolling Stone (February Issue):

On being a wanker:
“Do you think it’s going to take meeting someone who I admire more than I admire myself?”

Inadvertently admitting that no one in Hollywood will sleep with him (or why Aniston should consider a restraining order…)
“All I want to do now is f*ck the girls I’ve already f*cked, because I can’t fathom explaining myself to somebody who can’t believe I’d be interested in them, and they’re going, But you’re John Mayer! So I’m going backwards to move forward. I’m too freaked out to meet anybody else.”

On masturbation. Or buttholes. Or that no one in Hollywood will sleep with him. Or on why he’s a wanker…
“Before I make coffee, I’ve seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week. I mean, I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. The phone doesn’t pick up because I’m masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off.”

Considering Woods is screwing someone besides himself…

A portly Courtney?? Oh, yes, she actually wrote that…

Photo from T: They NYT Style Mag

“What do Jennifer Aniston, Kate Hudson and Courtney Cox have in common?” [Note, it's actually Courteney and it's Cox Arquette - but who has time for details when you're dishing the latest in pro-ana]:
Says T: The New York Times Style Magazine The Moment‘s Andy Port in “Now Scrutinizing: A Rounder Golden Globes”:
“Maybe it’s just me, but I could have sworn that some of the ladies who showed up at the Golden Globes on Sunday had put on a little weight.”
Is she serious?

Posted obnoxiously under pictures of Aniston, Hudson and Cox Arquette (if you’re gonna call her out, at least get her name right), she continues— “it’s almost criminal to name names.” Wait. Since when is naming names not naming names? Um, is it like opposite day or something? Right. Designating them as pudgy pinups is far more tasteful anyway.

Maybe she’ll take a lesson from Jersey Shore‘s Sammie and have the “audacity to apologize.”

Did That Really Happen? H&M catfight…

Image from blogs.houstonpress.com

In the news:
Georgetown is no doubt famed more for its (pretentious) politesse than its skank… but M Street purportedly got a taste of the not-so-civilized this past weekend when four girls (or at least a few of their group) beat up an H&M salesgirl/woman, before macing her with something besides Mace. Classy.

I wonder what they were fighting over? Clearance scarves?